In my ongoing attempt to put myself first—to figure out who I am and what I want without hearing anyone else's opinions or judgments—I tried a new tact. Thinking of myself in third person.
That means thinking of myself as 'she'—someone I know well and care deeply about.
The idea stemmed from the fact that I really care about the people in my life. I'm good at being there for them, buying them things they'll enjoy, encouraging and believing in them.
Problem is—I'm not so good about doing any of those things for myself. Numero uno.
Hence, the third person exercise.
If I'm someone I care about, I'll want to do things for her. And consider her more when I'm making decisions that will affect her.
Recently I went on a business trip to San Francisco. Getting ready for it, I thought: "What would SHE like on her trip? What would make HER feel special?" The idea came to me right away. SHE loves two things about staying in a hotel—plush robes and turndown service when they put chocolate on your pillow. Why not buy little pieces of dark chocolate to end each day?
I have to tell you, I've never looked forward to going on a business trip more. I started asking myself that question all the time—What would she want to do now? Is she tired and needing a break?
Truth is, I know what I like! Once I got over how silly it sounded, it really changed my perspective about putting my needs first.
And, that chocolate on my pillow idea is so coming home with me.