The following is my reply to an article in Huffington Post's Living section on a newlywed couple decision about having children.
Tamsen—thank you for expressing what quite a few of us married 30-somethings only whisper about at cocktail parties (where we hope our pregnant and mom friends can't hear us). Being happy shouldn't be about kids or not, you're absolutely right. And it shouldn't be assumed what your decision is before you've made it.
Deciding about being a mother feels like a taboo subject. Speaking for women here and not the guys, why can't we support each other—no matter whether we're mothers, are having trouble getting pregnant, haven't made up our minds yet, or decided against having children. Who better to understand the decision and all it entails than another woman.
I got to thinking why I'm so uncomfortable about people asking about when/if I'm becoming a mother. I think part of it is because I'm not confident about my decision yet. I just don't know, though I know I'm happy, but it doesn't seem a strong enough point when talking with other people.
Quick plug: With that in mind, I co-designed a six week-series over the phone for women on the fence just like me. We get to look at whether we want to become mothers in a supportive environment, and hopefully each making a decision by the end that we can feel confident about. I hope you'll consider attending, or passing the information along to others. Here are the details.
Happy almost anniversary. Hope you two continue to have fun together.