Life's Negotiations

Twice this week I was asked how decisions around commitment or motherhood relate to coaching. I figured it was a sign to revisit the definition of this new field.

Coaching is for someone looking to move ahead with their lives, or understand themselves better to make decisions more aligned with who they are. Deciding about a relationship or whether/when to have kids is a perfect example of the latter.

Coaching clients can work with therapists simultaneously and on similar topics. The value there is getting a different perspective from each expert.

This is a generality to give you a sense of how coaching differs from therapy, and how it's useful:

Therapy often deals with the past. What happened earlier in your life to bring you where you are today. Maybe about your childhood. Maybe a lingering roadblock that you have trouble getting past.

Coaching is focused on the present and the future: where are you now, who are you now and what's important to you. We identify your values upfront in our relationship, so all decisions that we discuss are made with them in mind.

For example, I might ask a client, "You said that security is important to you. How does that relate to marrying this person?"

Starting a new business, getting married and having kids can absolutely be among the topics covered in coaching sessions. They are part of where you are right now, and where you want to go in the future.