Life's Negotiations

You may recall my previous post on dating other couples to find friendship and how much it's like singles dating. The concept, called couple friends, seems to have hit on a trend.

Now besides the Crain's New York article (subscription required: "Four's company," 1/21/07), an article in the Calgary Herald and a storyline from The King of Queens called The Shmenkmans, The Today Show is planning to do a similar segment. If my husband and I are chosen to appear, I'll be sure to blog again. A possible brush with fame!

During the interview with the segment producer I was asked cutesy questions like: "What do you look for in couple friends?" "Have you two ever been broken up with by another couple, or wanted to break up with one yourselves?" "How did you know you found the couple friends for you?"

The more we spoke, the more similarities to real dating came up -- of course we look for compatibility, for senses of humor, for similar interests out of the people we want to hang out with in our free time. The same qualities you might consider when choosing a partner or even a good friend. The hilarity is how, as two intelligent, career-minded adults, we could relapse so to speak into a simplistic view of people we may be meeting for the first time...a la Seinfeld.

Now before the naysayers begin to have their way, let me just put out for the record that we do have lives. Both my husband and I, as well as all of the people I've spoken to about this, have jobs and friends of our own. Finding couple friends, or discussing how to do it, does not fill our days. Instead, the concept came out of the realization in hanging out with other couples that some just didn't click whereas others did.

There might also be something here about the fact that we as a society are more mobile today than ever before, living away from the communities where we grew up. And let's go one step further: we as a society also work very hard. Long hours in the office means our free time is more precious. We'll spend it on our own, with loved ones and then with friends who enrich our lives, who make us laugh out loud and forget about where we spend 40+ hours of our week.

Now there's an out for being the picky Seinfeld-esque person in a dating relationship of any kind. My time is too precious for me to spend it with people who have man-hands, two-faces or quirky habits that don't complement my own. Not sure whether that's going to win over any new friends!