Life's Negotiations

Last night I was thinking about an episode from "How I Met Your Mother". The characters talk about someone breaking 'The Bro Code' by sleeping with his best friend's ex-girlfriend.

Memories of dating flooded back to me. It happened all of the time - flirting with guys who you knew your friend also liked, and more. Not only was I the dejected one pushed aside by the new couple, but also, ahem, the code-breaker. (Sorry about that.)

Is interest from the opposite sex more important than friendship?

When I started down the road of thinking that this is special only to women, my husband set me straight. Apparently both sexes break 'The Code'.

So what is the push to do this - crazy hormones? The intoxicating feeling of mutual attraction?

If 'The Bro Code' is a myth, then how does friendship survive? There is a connection to values here. By not stopping to think through a decision, we can put short-term fun before long-term friendship and trust. The ramifications are wider than dating too -- keeping secrets, career ascension, even raising kids.

It comes down to making decisions, any decision, based on what's most important to you and that means taking the time to figure out what that is.