Life's Negotiations

Spoke to my friend, James, the other day about the Middle Ages when everyone thought the world was flat.

Remember those drawings where sailing vessels fell off the edge of the Earth into oblivion?

We all have that same edge. In front of it is our known world: who we are, what we know to be true. Beyond it is the unknown. Our hopes and dreams live there.

Just like sailors in the Middle Ages, it can be scary approaching the edge, because you don't know if what's beyond it is everything you ever wanted or the worst possible/death.

James posed this question to himself when considering his own edge: if it's true that my hopes and dreams (and happiness and authentic self) are beyond this edge, what do I already have to help me get to the other side?

It's probably not things like "I don't think I can do this."

I've spent the last few weeks with an amazing group of women deciding whether we want to be mothers. Right now I'm at a middle ground, knowing that children will be part of my life but not knowing how. I am reaching my edge, and the 'how' is definitely on the other side.

I posed "What do I already have to help me with this journey?" (feels like I'm packing for an exotic trip) and I was reminded the special thrill I get from doing things in my own way. I like to forgo convention and turn naysayers into my biggest supporters. I get excited thinking that my role with children will be unique and meaningful, and I could be a model for adults in the process.

Knowing this makes it easier for me to not know the rest, and to move forward anyway.