Life's Negotiations

Making a choice requires abandoning the alternative is a modern definition for "Holding the boy and losing the man."

The latter is from I Ching, an ancient Chinese text used as a guide for navigating life. Just as many of us turn to the Bible, and even astrology, today.

This fits where I am and where many of my coaching clients are right now: on the cusp of real change.

Real change means letting go of the known and comfortable place where you once were. It doesn't serve you in the same way anymore.

For a while now, you've known that there is more out there for you. More that you want to be, and want to do with your life. You've seen glimpses of what it could be like to feel fulfilled in your work, to have relationships which lift you up instead of weighing you down, and to wake up every morning eager to start your day.

But going out and grabbing that new life can bring up anxiety. So much is unknown. In the midst of the transition, it can seem safer to stay with the familiar.

Is it really, though? Safer, maybe. But I would guess that it is equally uncomfortable to be in a situation where you feel stifled and not able to be yourself, as it is to be in an unfamiliar place where you can be yourself and so much more.

You're not alone in this unknown territory either. Many of us, including me, are right there with you. 

We each want to be appreciated for who we are, and to go after that scary and wildly exciting potential for true happiness. 

My divorce and subsequent move to Washington, DC last year was about seizing this true happiness for myself. Those glimpses of fulfillment are real, as is the discomfort from upending my safe and comfortable life. The fact that I can feel all of these feelings, and express them, is one way I know that I'm on the right track.

In other words, we're in this together. I wrote recently about how women have an unique opportunity to support one another - that's true for all of us. If we each want to be accepted, then we each have something that we can do about it!

Now, back to:  holding the boy and losing the man. Are you torn between almost-tasting real change, and holding on to what's safe?

What you're waiting for is just out of reach and will remain that way as long you keep holding onto the past.

It's time to choose. Simply Leap.