Life's Negotiations

In my ongoing attempt to put myself first - to figure out who I am and what I want without hearing anyone else's opinions or judgements - I tried a new tact. Thinking of myself in third person.

That means thinking of myself as 'she' - someone I know well and care deeply about.

The idea stemmed from the fact that I really care about the people in my life. I'm good at being there for them, buying them things they'll enjoy, encouraging and believing in them.

Problem is -- I'm not so good about doing any of those things for myself. Numero uno.

Hence, the third person exercise. If I'm someone I care about, I'll want to do things for her. And consider her more when I'm making decisions that will affect her.

Recently I went on a business trip to San Francisco. Getting ready for it, I thought: "What would SHE like on her trip? What would make HER feel special?" The idea came to me right away. SHE loves two things about staying in a hotel - plush robes and turndown service when they put chocolate on your pillow. Why not buy little pieces of dark chocolate to end each day?

I have to tell you, I've never looked forward to going on a business trip more. I started asking myself that question all the time -- What would she want to do now? Is she tired and needing a break?

Truth is, I know what I like! Once I got over how silly it sounded, it really changed my perspective about putting my needs first.

And, that chocolate on my pillow idea is so coming home with me.