Life's Negotiations

I ran across this article today in the Miami Herald called "Women, stop putting others first."

The author is a coach, like me, and also like me we've come across clients who have trouble putting themselves first. Because of guilt, responsibility, getting self-worth out of being needed. You name it.

Often this can stand in the way of someone signing up for life coaching. She (primarily) can see the value but doesn't think she has time to fit coaching into her schedule. Among the reasons - not seeing how giving yourself an hour a week can help you stay more focused the rest of the time. It's the same concept for why it's a good idea to take vacation from work. To recharge so you can come back ready to tackle the next assignment. (Although as a society we're not good at that either.)

So back to the reasons why you don't have time for something you know has value. This author, and I have to agree with her, says it's about priorities. If you are always at the bottom of the list, you will stay there. That's too bad, because I think you're pretty great and deserve better.

In her article, the author plays bad cop for a bit -- pushing her readers to see that they are the ones standing in their own way. She does so by asking leading questions assuming that she knows your answer already and it's not good.

It's a useful technique to kick your butt. I prefer a different approach, though. Helping you to see that you are worth it. Everyone else is important and so are you. Consider:

• For you to be at your best, what do you need?
• How can you begin to give yourself this right now? What's an easy first step?
• How can other people, including me, support you in getting what you need?

If these questions intrigue you at all, I hope you'll contact us about a free coaching session over the phone. It's a great way to see if coaching is right for you, and to re-prioritize in a constructive, goal-oriented, and soulful way.