Life's Negotiations

My response to a blog this week in the Huffington Post about the U.S. birth rate and pressure being put on women about motherhood:

Hi Elizabeth - thanks for deciphering the birth rate statistics, and for bringing to light the pressure put on women to have children NOW.

I often hear from fellow women in their early 30's that, "I better start now." Not I *want* to start now, but almost that they are giving in. You know I'm not getting any younger (at 32) and my biological clock is ticking (for another decade), so I guess now is a good time. You guess?

I came across this blog post today in the US News & World Report's On Careers section.

The author, Curt Rosengren, points out that if you are looking to make a change in your life, start by looking at the company you keep. The people you spend time with can either challenge you to grow, or keep you second guessing yourself into submission.

A client looking to change careers recently told me about negativity she is experiencing. Certain loved ones question her decision to jump now during a soft economy. Some of that is coming from their concern for her, and some is coming from their own limited (and limiting) beliefs.

At a certain age and after being married a few years, the inevitable question seems to be on everyone's lips: "Are you going to have kids?"

Sometimes, I really hate that question. I have this faint sense that at some point children will come into the picture, but right now, and in the forseeable future, being married and having my own business seems like more than enough. I'm really happy.

Mulling over the decision becomes infinitely more difficult when other people start weighing in. I don't think I need to apologize or explain myself, yet that's not always how I feel.

Last night I was thinking about an episode from "How I Met Your Mother". The characters talk about someone breaking 'The Bro Code' by sleeping with his best friend's ex-girlfriend.

Memories of dating flooded back to me. It happened all of the time - flirting with guys who you knew your friend also liked, and more. Not only was I the dejected one pushed aside by the new couple, but also, ahem, the code-breaker. (Sorry about that.)

Is interest from the opposite sex more important than friendship?

I had to share this article on CNN.com called: "No kids, no job for growing number of wives."

I'm impressed at reporter Sarah Jio's middle-of-the-road approach of what could be a contentious topic. Married women choosing homemaking, with or without children.

What attracted me to the story was that I am at home most weekdays. Though I'm working on two businesses while there, I often feel the need to defend myself to others. Yes, I work hard. No, I'm not eating bon-bons (though if some were in the house, I would).

To consult and coach out of a home office was a conscious choice. I think I defend the decision because it goes against my perception of what others think I should be doing. Pretty convoluted.

This article is about women choosing to do what they want, and who have found partners who support their choice. I've done the same and love it. So forget the apologies, let's celebrate!