Life's Negotiations

In my ongoing attempt to put myself first - to figure out who I am and what I want without hearing anyone else's opinions or judgements - I tried a new tact. Thinking of myself in third person.

That means thinking of myself as 'she' - someone I know well and care deeply about.

The idea stemmed from the fact that I really care about the people in my life. I'm good at being there for them, buying them things they'll enjoy, encouraging and believing in them.

Remember this rule from grade school? I've made it a personal mantra lately. Here's how.

The concept of Keep Your Eyes on Your Own Paper (KYEYOP) stems from not cheating off someone else's test in class, and has come to mean staying focused on things I can control and things that affect me directly.

Case in point: my husband's bedtime, his eating habits, his friends. Without thinking sometimes, I'll weigh in on any of these topics and more that have nothing to do with me. It happens with friends and family too. In my head, I do this because I'm helping, because I care deeply about this person and want what's best for them, because I think they need me. Here's the kicker - I even believe that I'm being selfless.