Your new mantra at work

This is for the A-students out there. It's time to be mediocre. To give 80% instead of 110.

I know, I know, that sounds like crazy talk.

If you've been striving for gold stars since way back giving only 80% can feel like failure. You might as well do nothing than risk being overlooked during the next round of promotions, even if you don't really want one. A promotion is the closest thing most of us get to gold stars as an adult.

Here's why this is your new mantra at work: giving 80% provides room to figure out what you would rather be doing. Better still, room to do more of what you already know in your heart is the answer.

Granted it can mean not being sought after by colleagues, and even friends, to be the one saving the day on tough last minute assignments. You get a lot of last minute calls, don't you? It may sting in the beginning when this starts to happen, because you've trained yourself to recognize being needed as being successful.

It will be worth it. On the other side is enjoying what you do and being appreciated for who you are. Not the responsible person to call in last minute, not the A-student striving for the sake of striving, but an intelligent, creative...what would you love to be appreciated for?

Choosing to do 80% at your day job means you get to figure out the answer to that, while still keeping your job. Fear will tell you that you could lose your job if you do less, so let's get that one out of the way. You're still showing up and doing your work. The majority of employees all over the world settle happily into 60-80% output. You just never considered that an option, until now.

Save 110% for what you really love, and give everything else 80.

Mediocre
Mediocre

Take a page out of my client Katy Craig's work playbook, an A-student all-star turned 80 percent convert. She is also one the most silly fun, laugh out loud, dream big and go after it people I've ever met: "If I got an assignment that made my stomach sink, I'd just ask myself, 'What's 80 percent look like here?' and say my motto, 'I'm mediocre, goddamnit!'"

What does 80% look like? That's for you to figure out. It may begin with not answering emails immediately as they arrive even while sitting at your desk, and shift to leaving your phone behind while out with loved ones and not worrying one bit!

If you want extra credit, here is an advanced mantra courtesy of Clive Thompson, author of Smarter Than You Think: How Technology is Changing Our Minds for the Better. Over lunch one day we were talking about being mediocre and he shared a story from one of his first jobs. There was so much to do and a staff of one, him, to do it all. He decided to take the pressure off by creating a stock answer for whenever his boss arrived with more work: "This can be done poorly or not at all."

When he said that, my jaw dropped. I mentioned this was advanced, at the gold-star edge. Whether you say this out loud or to yourself it puts the power of heart and head space back in your hands.

What do you say A-students, are you willing to be mediocre to go after the life you really want?

Tell us:: what does 80% look like in your world?

And if you need help, from one A-student to another, get on my calendar for a free phone consultation. 

What to do when you wake-up-and-worry

  Ever woken up in the morning already afraid of a tough conversation you need to have?

That was me the other day. Within a minute of opening my eyes I remembered what I went to bed trying to forget: a call I needed to make and not knowing how the person would respond. My worry joined me under the covers and then followed me through my daily routine. What if I get the words wrong? What if it ruins our friendship? 

In Brené Brown'sThe Gift of Imperfection, she talks about the poo-poo platter of fear, perfection (I may have mentioned that one before), and scarcity.

Underneath whatever you tell yourself is happening is the discomfort of being vulnerable. 

Bingo. My morning wake-up-and-worry was about me not being able to control what would happen with our conversation or how she would react, and feeling vulnerable about it.

In the past when this happened, I would be nearly incapacitated from getting anything else accomplished and would finally succumb to apologizing instead of sharing my point of view, hopeful that the other person didn't notice anything was wrong. 

I'm happy to report how different things went this time. Not so much the conversation (though it went well too!), but what happened inside of me to all that worry.

The antidote to fear, Brené says, is gratitude. Before reacting as I normally would, I took these three steps:

  1. I stopped myself from any knee-jerk reaction.
  2. I acknowledged I was feeling vulnerable.
  3. I looked for something to be grateful for.

This technique worked immediately. The second I said out loud to myself, "I am feeling vulnerable," an unexpected wave of calm washed over me. Seriously, it took one second.

It slowed me down to see what was really happening: fear of the unknown, of being wrong, of losing love and respect. Acknowledging my vulnerability allowed me to be with it in a gentle, kind way.

Exactly the attention I would give someone I care about. This time that someone was me.

The next part was the biggest surprise. 

The third step is gratitude. What did I choose? I was grateful for my vulnerability suddenly appreciative of the role it plays in my life. If this person weren't important to me - if being understood and respected weren't important to me - I would not have been as anxious about our conversation. I love all of those things about myself!

This realization also made me grateful to be afraid, because it means I'm moving into uncharted, worthwhile territory. I needed to hear myself ask for what I needed no matter the outcome. It means I'm building better relationships, and I'm more aware of and sensitive to my own feelings.

It's incredible what happens when you notice anxiousness and see what's really happening.

Do you ever wake-up-and-worry? Try these three steps and tell me what you think, or share what works best for you!