How to get more of what you want

  What you focus on, think and talk about is what you see.

For example: in this season's political race there is a lot of talk about a candidate most people don't want elected, but some reason we're still talking about him anyway. In fact, he seems to be getting more airtime than the candidates people like.

It reminds me of when I was little and Nancy Reagan told us to say no to drugs. As a rule-following A-student, I understood her clear language. I could say no, but had no idea what I was saying yes to. I just kept hearing about drugs! Guess what we all kept seeing more of?

In no way am I suggesting that we deny what's happening around us. Drugs are bad. Lots of people don't want that person elected president. But Saying No doesn't get you more of what you want; it's still in the wrong direction.

With that in mind, here's your assignment. Say, think and dream about what you really want to happen and you'll see it everywhere.

That includes the behavior you'd like to see from your kids, your financial goals, and a healthier planet.

"You are so kind to your sister."

"I love depositing checks in my bank account."

"I'm glad more companies are coming forward to take care of the environment."

I've used this to change my perspective on customer service. I lamented its downfall for a while, and then changed my tune when I realized how I was setting myself up to see more of it. I now tweet to businesses praising them when they go the extra mile, and whenever a friend talks about a bad experience I counter it with a good one. 

And yesterday? I really needed quiet time. I have been busy (by choice) lately, and hadn't made room in my schedule for necessary, nourishing downtime so I can be at my best for all of the things I want to be doing. I woke up to this winter wonderland, and my brain went into overdrive about cleaning off my car, doing my Monday routines and getting caffeine as soon as possible. Then it hit me that this was the forced winter hibernation I usually revel in. I could be thankful, take advantage...and tell you how lovely it was!

A simple mindset shift when you really hear what you're telling yourself, and choose a better story.

All of this likely makes rational sense. I'm sharing this simple assignment, because many of us are still not doing it, or forgetting just how well it works when you do it consistently.

  • Notice the words you say out loud, and say nicer things!
  • Notice how you answer when people ask how you are, and say something positive!
  • Notice what you believe about yourself, and love yourself like everyone else already does!

Shift these and real change happens.

Your favorite candidate gets elected. Your kids play better together. My most successful clients have used this simple assignment to move cross-country, create the career of their dreams and become more confident (and less anxious), because even before it began to materialize they noticed and felt encouraged by the tiniest proof of it coming together.

What will you tell yourself today to get more of what you want?