How’s your “new normal”?

If you’re like me, it really depends on the moment.

Sometimes I take my own advice from two weeks ago and brush my teeth, drink water, and text my mom a funny joke to encourage her not to walk around Rite Aid even though she’s bored.

At other times, today for instance, I cried and broke out in hives before noon.

Based on what I’m seeing from others on social media and feeling in my own body, these are stages of grief. Nice that Harvard Business Review agrees. We are collectively grieving change on a level most of us were unprepared for and without an end in sight.

On top of that is having to hold it together for others.

If you let yourself, you can likely feel the burden of other people depending on you for stability, a sense of calm and order, being their shoulder to cry on.

That’s a lot, especially if you don’t have a shoulder for your crying.

As an A student, this time may also bring out your superpowers. You could excel at being thrown into action, managing schedules, comforting loved ones, and working out to one of the many new online classes.

If you’re firing on all cylinders, go you! And if in the quiet moments you also break out in hives, you’re not alone. If you want to talk through either, my calendar is still open for Pep Talks.

More support when you need it:

1) Brave the discomfort. Brené Brown has a new podcast and I already listened to the first episode twice because it’s about this pandemic being a FFT — “F-ing First Time” — for all of us. There’s a relief in naming our collective new territory plus she also offers concrete steps to move through it.

2) Make a to-do list. The first thing that went out the window when changes started? My to-do list. The thing that will save my sanity, and keep me positive and productive? You guessed it. No doubt your to-do list is different in a lot of ways than a month ago, so if you haven’t already (go A students!) make a new one. Decorate it special, choose a new font. The version I offer my mailing list might help.

3) Join me for a Lunch Break on Instagram this Wednesday at 1pm ET. I’m speaking with Stella Yoon of Hudson River Exchange about how we’re navigating this new normal as business owners and what might help you too. Follow her to see when we go live.

4) Choose hope. I listened to a meditation by Oprah and Deepak Chopra on Hope in Uncertain Times, and she quoted Maya Angelou: “Hope and fear can’t occupy the same place. Invite one to stay.” You might need to re-invite hope several times a day, treating it as a form of meditation: choosing hope (for your family, business, health and community), and when your mind wanders choosing hope all over again.

I believe so much in you, and what’s possible when we lean on each other.

There's talking about it, and there's doing something about it

There is so much talk about what's not working right now, it's really starting to bug me. The wall, the Russians and now a growing disaster in Houston. 

Here's the thing. If you're talking about what's going on in the world right now, it may feel like you're getting somewhere. You're letting it out. You're letting people know.

All the social media likes can make you feel like it's progress, but it isn't helping solve the problem as much as doing something about it.

Now for the sake of us introverts who would rather get a colonoscopy than be at a rally, there are solid things you can do other than shout in public surrounded by a crowd. Lots of credit to those of you who have taken to the streets, and I hope you are doing more in the days after your marching. Lots of credit too to the journalists out there, keep doing what you do. 

Going back to the woman who inspired my #HugTour movement six years ago, Maya Angelou, "You have to give what you have to give."

Do YOUR thing. 

Some ideas to get you started:

• Talk to someone, in person, look them in the eye and really listen.

• Be an advocate at work, on the subway, in your family.

• Give your time, food, clothing, socks to shelters and people in need like my friend Jane Pearson of Janery who researched the best dog rescues to help near Houston.

• Run for office. Proud of my friends Sarah Salem and Jessica Segal for getting political.

• Open your business doors like Mattress Mack. How much do you love him?

And then tell everyone about it so they can too.

If those are hard to do, ask yourself: "What feels right to me? What can I give?" Then do it.

Buddhist leaders Thich Nhat Hanh and The Dalai Lama believe meditation puts that calming energy into our environment, helping the people around you as much as it helps you. I've seen how a smile can change the room I'm in and conversations I'm having, why can't breathing deeply and approaching difficult moments with peace do the same thing?

I'm meditating more and thinking about all of you when I do. 

I'm also thinking about you when I send emails, when we get on the phone together, when we hug and with the words I use when I speak to strangers.  

Do something about how you feel. We're better for it when you do. 

One last thing -- your career relates to this too. You can wish to be more appreciated by colleagues or for a better salary, but doing something about it will actually make things better. You'll get more confidence, power, control. You also get valued, respected, paid well. 

The fall is approaching fast around here, and so while you're doing something about our political and environmental situations, make good choices about your job too.

I'm here to help.