There's a big BUT at the end of that sentence. Can you hear it?
This was how a new client began her thoughts to me before our first session together. A lifetime of her family's voice whispering in her ear and just now able to hear her own voice getting louder.
If you have spent most of your years doing what's expected, deciding that you don't want to do that anymore can be followed quickly by a seemingly-unanswerable How.
How do you figure out what you want if you've spent all of this time and energy pleasing others?
You're good at it! That's where those gold stars came from in elementary school, and why teachers...bosses...other parents...neighbors...praise you for being so capable, driven...so good. Whether or not you believe them, you still get complimented regularly. I can guarantee it.
The short answer:
Being who you are meant to be means letting go of doing what you're supposed to do and -- gasp -- maybe disappointing someone.
The longer answer is a process. The first step is knowing that you might want something different than you have now, and that you're ready to figure it out. That's where this client is, and already things are shifting. Knowing that you're ready is powerful stuff.
The second step is building your awareness from the inside -- how you feel about what you're doing now, what other activities draw your attention even more, what you loved as a child before anyone told you that you had to choose something else.
There are more questions, but these get you started. Listening to yourself in a way that you haven't before helps you know (not figure out) what's next.
Because that's our goal, you knowing deep down what you want. Getting really clear about it, every detail that matters to you, and imagining, believing that it's possible.
Yes, you may disappoint someone.
It's not that it doesn't matter, or that you won't care anymore. You will still care about the people in your life and want to make them happy. On the other end of this process, you'll be able to see how many people WANT YOU to be happy. How some of the same people you're worried about disappointing will become your biggest cheerleaders. You will be amazed. It happens more often -- even in my own life -- than I can count.
If like my new client you have always, always done what you're supposed to do and have an inkling that you'd like to do what you want instead, check out those questions above in the second step to start building your awareness from the inside.
And when you're ready, call me. I'm here believing in you big time.